It's been a while...

A year and almost a month to be exact. As I have sat here and read my past entries on this blog, I have been filled with a mix of different emotions, but chief amongst them being REGRET. Why regret? For starters, a whole year? Not a single post? I have avoided writing like the plague and I've avoided it not because I've been busy, stressed, or tired, although I could use those as lame excuses, but rather because I've failed miserably at my goal of losing weight and honoring my commitments to myself, and I haven't been able to face myself...until recently. But I'm jumping ahead.

When I read my last post back in 2010 today, I was amazed at how identical the start of my last year was to 2011. I had a sinus infection this year as well and had house issues with a busted pipe in my garage from the insane ice storm that hit Dallas two weeks ago that I'm still recovering from. Health-wise, I started the year with the same resolve to make this year THE year I conquer my weight issues, once and for all. But the nagging question is: What will truly make this year different?

I also felt a bit of melancholy because in 2009, I was optimistic. I'd lost *some* weight and thought I was well on my way. I was running, writing, traveling, and trying new things. Since then, I've gained ALL the weight back I lost and 5 extra pounds. The highest the scale read for me the first week of January was 250lbs. To think of how I vowed that 245lbs would be the highest I ever saw and to surpass that has crushed my spirit. This week, I was 247.6, but 250lbs is still lurking around the corner.

So what happened? How did I get so far off track? The one good thing about the start of a new year is that it does allow for some self-reflection which I started in December. I decided to finally start being truly honest with myself. As optimistic as my past posts were, and even on bad days when I posted, I still wasn't being as honest as I could have been with myself. The truth is that I've lost a part of me that cares about me. I stopped paying attention, I stopped caring ENOUGH. It's one thing to go for a kickboxing class once a week, or a jog here or there, and to eat Kashi for breakfast and tons of fruit, or to get up and brush your teeth and put on makeup, it's another thing to really be able to look yourself in the mirror and be happy, to consistently show up for yourself and not just glide through life demanding so little of yourself.

A lot of great things happened last year. I got engaged to a wonderful man who loves me the way I am but has voiced concern for my health. He moved to Dallas and we have being going through the relationship ups and downs that come from inhaling each others air. I have come to learn a lot about myself from my first serious adult relationship and focusing on who Lara is within a relationship construct also took me away from who I am, period. There have been positives with that, definitely but from looking at my fat rolls, some not so positives as well.

Along with the beauty of moving into my first home, getting engaged, and just living has come the stress of an ever-changing workplace. My job, next to my excess weight is the highest source of my stress. The nature of the job itself is stressful but compound that with all the other auxiliary drama and I leave work daily wanting to just come home, eat, watch bad TV and fall asleep on my couch, which is precisely what I do. As I mentioned earlier, these are not excuses, just contributing factors.

The biggest factor is this:

Friends, I've stopped believing in myself. I've lost faith that I have it in me, but I have faith that God has big plans for me and the very least I can do is show up and see what those plans are.

So I'm going through the motions. I have stockpiled on self-affirming, self-help books on everything from setting goals to losing weight, and living your dreams. I am hungry for anything that can help get me recharged and back(?) on a path of wholesome, healthy living.

Truth be told, I had been toying with the idea of abandoning this blog altogether and starting a more comprehensive one called "Lara cuts the crap" because "the crap" isn't just food, it's about everything else that makes us less than who we can be, but at the end of the day, that's just another excuse to not finish something I started, so I am finally sticking to something and keeping this blog. Besides, one could use the chicken argument: Is my fat causing the other crap, or the other crap causing my fat? I aim to find out.

Although I've decided to keep this blog and its emphasis on weight loss the tone of the blog, however, will change. It will be more honest, more journal-like, if you will. The one thing I noticed about my past writing is that I wrote as something who already had the answers, but was just having a hard time implementing them because life got in the way. This time, it's going to be my raw, open thoughts and emotions. I am a student, not (yet) a teacher. I come seeking knowledge through my own experiences, trials, tribulations and hopefully successes. I want to share this with anyone who cares because I will need the support, the friendship, and on occasion, the kick in the pants. I DON'T have it together, but I'm gathering all the lost pieces, and fitting the puzzle together piece by piece.

The past is gone, the future is not promised, all any of us have is NOW.

Lara

The week from...

I am sitting here at almost midnight, wide awake because last night, I slept for 11 hours straight! Then woke up and slept for 3 more hours. It turns out the "not so hot" feeling I had when I last wrote was the beginning of a sinus infection. I initially thought it was the flu and tried to self-medicate and for a week threw down copious amounts of Theraflu and Nyquil to no avail. Finally, yesterday, when my throat began to swell and I felt like I was swallowing pins, I acquiesed and went to the doctor where I was promptly diagnosed with the sinus infection and sent home with $100 worth of meds and a doctor's note for a day off.

This has also been the week when the earth shook for 35 seconds in Haiti and took with it thousands of beautiful Haitian souls. When I began to hear the reports and started looking at pictures, a part of my spirit broke and I wept for a nation already in crisis now faced with hell on earth. I know everyone is asking for donations and so many people have already given, but if you haven't, please do.

This has also been the week when a week ago, I closed on my first home, signed the gazillion papers I needed to sign, found out I would have to pay an exorbitant amount to break my lease and then was told that my paperwork didn't go through with the house due to a "glitch" in the system and new guidelines. So now a week later, still without my keys and the hopes it's all resolved tomorrow, I sit patiently waiting.

Every cloud has a silver lining...if you look for it.
The sinus infection caused me to lose my appetite for darn near everything so I lost 2lbs. Ha ha. I know it's a stretch but silver lining people, silver lining.

It is incredibly difficult to find a silver lining in the Haitian crisis, except the hope that is coming from the situation, the rush to aid I've seen demonstrated in individuals around the world, and hopefully the attention that country has needed for YEARS is finally coming to it. Personally, whenever I have wanted to feel sorry for myself this past week I keep thinking "What if I was in Haiti?" One day even, as I took a hot shower, I was filled with gratitude for how good a hot shower feels and how much of a luxury that is.

The house situation will resolve itself and I'll soon be in my first home, cooking healthy meals and exercising and finally finding some balance in my life so all I have to do is wait.

Patience, gratitude, perseverance...

Peace,
Lara.

First workout of the new year

Hi there, good people!
Today was my first workout not only this year but in months! Last night, I was feeling sort of "off." I was achy, my head hurt, and I was incredibly fatigued. I felt like I had the flu but without the other crap that comes with it. This morning, I woke up with the headache still and feeling only slightly better but still decided to drag myself out to my kickboxing class.

Admittedly, I wasn't exactly eager for movement. It is incredibly cold in Dallas, colder than it's been since I moved here in 2003 and I really just wanted to keep laying down and watching Food Network, but I knew that if I was to start on a new path, I would need a push and group exercise does that for me.

I arrived 10 minutes late and as was to be expected, the class was packed with new faces wanting a new start as well. The first 15 minutes felt like I had never left, but after that, I grew nauseous, my body felt weak and I just couldn't get those kicks up like I wanted to.

It was towards the end of the class as we were laying on the mats doing crunches that I had an epiphany: I would take a zen approach to my health and fitness this year. No more all or nothing diet plans. No more pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion with my exercise just so I could feel like I had done something good. I would ease myself into better health. I would run slower if I needed to, kick lower if I must, and forget picking up yet ANOTHER weight loss book. I will cook my meals and enjoy the process and use my common sense. In other words, I will listen to my body and obey what it is telling me. If it says "go faster" or "slow down," I will. For this to become a lifestyle, it can no longer be something I start and stop because it's gotten too hard to maintain.

The thing with being "Zen" is that it requires focus and discipline, two skills that I find myself often without, but I will rest assured knowing that I'm doing something, rather than nothing at all.

Happy Trails!

Zen Lara

2010 - New Year, New Me?

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. --Anonymous

Happy New Year, everyone! Here is to hoping that 2010 brings us happiness, peace, and great health.
I found the above quote when I was looking up New Year's Resolutions today. It made me chuckle but I have thought of it all day and it also sort of scares me that it might be true.
As I reflect on 2009 and the fact that I have not written in this blog since Nov. 8th, I find myself conflicted with many varying emotions. On the one hand, I am proud of the things I accomplished in '09: I started the process of buying my first home(I close on it next week), I lost *some* weight and accomplished my goal of running 30 minutes straight, I got promoted at my job, and I started a serious relationship. I also traveled more than I had in years and started writing this blog; which was something I had always wanted to do.

But then as this new year has begun, I also see what I probably shouldn't refer to as my failings, but rather, my "incompletes." I realize now that I have a chronic case of starting things and never finishing. The moment I begin to make progress, I find ways to self-sabotage. It is why I still have not conquered my clutter habit because I start cleaning one area, move the crap from that area to another and then start manufacturing more piles of crap. It is also why I lost 20 lbs last year, but now have gained almost 10 lbs of it back(I was 234 lbs when I weighed earlier this week), it is why I not only stopped running, but stopped going to zumba and quelle horreur!, stopped going to my beloved kickboxing class. I suppose I would be more depressed, disappointed, etc, about it if I wasn't so busy, preoccupied, and frankly TIRED.

But it is for these same reasons that the desire to get back on track keeps haunting me. Inevitably, whether one chooses to make resolutions or not, we all tend to want to do better whenever a new year begins. I want 2010 to be the year I conquer my demons, but I have wanted that every new year. The only difference is that I actually did get a headstart last year. I know now that it can be done but I have to do it! I know how to lose weight, I have the tools to organize my life, and know where to find the support I need, so there are no excuses.

I have been on a spiritually enlightening path over the past couple of months. I believe the home-buying process evoked in me a need for faith and perseverance because there have been quite a few hurdles and some disappointments, but for the first time in a very long time, with each disappointment, with each hurdle, I would take a deep breath, pause and keep up the work I knew I needed to get it done. I have decided to use that as a map for my year because it quite simply works!

There are a lot of ideas I'm toying with as far as getting a plan in order to help me accomplish my goals, but first I have to define those goals. I have decided to type them up in nice font and frame them like poetry and place the frame in a place where I can see it daily. I have also agreed to create a vision board with a coworker(more on this later) of all I want to see manifested this year.

I know now that I need some sort of support. Attempting to do this alone is incredibly hard. When our Weight Watchers class ended before thanksgiving, I thought I could lose weight on my ow; instead I gained 6lbs! I couldn't seem to stop eating and didn't have any one but myself to be accountable too and that just didn't work. I am both the good angel and bad angel on my shoulder and the bad angel is usually more persuasive.

I don't know what 2010 will bring. None of us could have predicted some of the things 2009 brought, but with a lot of hardwork and effort and Divine Intervention, I know I can end 2010 on a better note than I am starting it.

Stay Tuned and Bon Année everyone!

P.S What are YOUR resolutions?

XoXo,
Lara.

The Derailed Train

Isn't it ironic...My last post was about making a u-turn and getting back on track and it was filled with so much optimism and promises and now here I am, almost two months later, completely derailed, with perhaps just one wheel on the track.

Here's the truth: I've been avoiding this blog. I could tell you of all the things I'm attempting to do(buying a home being chief amongst them) but the truth is that this blog has always in a way held me accountable to myself and because I have for the past couple of months, failed miserably at the weight loss game, I have played the "see no evil" game with myself. I've been like my little nephew who when he doesn't want to be social will close his eyes and pretend not to see you. I have done the same with my weight. The problem is that for the first time in a long time, this year, I made progress and so the part of me that has changed is in deep battle with the part of me that hasn't, so there is this nagging voice that's telling me to stop the bullshit and get back on track.

Friends, I haven't run in forever, I have eaten every fried, greasy thing I can find. I have stuffed my face with cookies, cakes and candy and I've done it with the little devil on my shoulder gagging the little angel on my other shoulder and promising to kill her and her family if she tries to talk me out of my food debauchery.

I.FEEL.LIKE.CRAP! For the past two weeks, my digestive system has been acting up. I feel bloated, gassy, and lethargic. My muscles feel like they are seizing up and I'm feeling aches and pains that worry me.

I can't blame the fact that my Weight Watchers meetings at work are on hiatus until the first of the year. There are still meetings in my neighborhood and if it meant enough to me, I'd go. I can't blame stress because there will always, of and on, be life issues that bring a certain degree of stress and will I always eat my stress away? If so, I'll always be in battle with my weight.

The lowest weight I saw on the scale was 225lbs back in September. It was an anomaly and didn't last long. The last time I weighed, I was 231lbs. I can feel every bit of those extra pounds. I can't do this anymore.

I'm not going to make any grand declarations this time around. I'm just going to do what I started off doing, making the changes I need to make and documenting the journey. I have learned that even this; even failure, is part of the journey. This is who I am: a person struggling to choose good over not so good, healthy over not so healthy, exercise over laying on my couch, and if I can do this even 80% of the time, I am already winning the battle.

Happy Trails, mon amis!

Lara

Making a U-Turn.

Here's the truth: I stopped writing for a while because I lost my motivation. I was tired, week after week, of gaining and losing the same 1 - 2 lbs and only half-heartedly following the WW plan, while others in my WW group had lost in 6 weeks more than I've lost since I started this plan over 5 months ago! BUT, thanks to the prodding of good friend(thanks, Syl and Tangy) and a sudden drop in weight(more on this later), I'm BACK! I must say, I've missed writing, missed this blog, missed focusing on me.

What have I been up to? Well, I was the maid-of-honor at a friend's wedding. For weeks before that, I was doing a bunch of running around trying to get ready for that, as well as taking on my huge decluttering project, while having a house guest and starting a new job. I feel like I've been constantly on the move for a month, which is a huge change of pace for me. The wedding was great, and somehow, while in Maryland, even without working out, or tracking, I lost 4 lbs over the weekend?! I attribute it to the fact that we got very little sleep, ate pretty sporadically and when we did eat, it was healthy, Nigerian food. I came back and got a cold/flu which also adversely affected my appetite. So without much deliberate effort, I've dropped to the lowest weight I've seen on the scale in a while which is 225.5lbs. Needless to say, I'm thrilled.

Now I haven't worked out in quite a while. The last bit of exercise I did was Zumba two weeks ago. I miss running. I was to get up and go kickboxing this morning but my body is still so tired for being up late coughing my lungs up, that I turned over and went back to sleep.

So, now that my life is getting back to normal, it's time to regroup for the hundreth time this year. I'm calling on the wisdom of Dr. Oz in his book: You on a Diet. In it, he mentions making a dietary/fitness u-turn when you get off track. Instead of completely giving up and regressing, acknowledge you've lost your way and then turn around and go back in the right direction. Even though I'm still losing weight, I'm not happy with the fact that I've gotten off the fitness track and my diet is still in dire need of work. I just don't FEEL good.

Also, even though I'm glad I lost weight before the wedding, the photos still show me how far I have to go. I still battle with feeling smaller than I look and it's disheartening having to contend with your true size in pictures, but it's all a part of the journey and as Maya Angelou says: "Won't take nothing for my journey now."

Alright friends, here we go again!

The struggle continues.

Lara

My Favorite "Health" Foods

I'm not a big fan of the words "health food" because I feel that ideally, most everything we eat should be healthy. Unfortunately, as a culture, we have become so far removed from what real food should taste like that anything that's really good for us is thought of as boring, bland, etc...

I tend to straddle the fence between eating pure, unadulterated food and pure, junky, crappy food. But one thing is for sure, when I eat a bunch of junk, my body starts craving something healthy and wholesome. It is usually at that point that I make something with one or more of these healthy ingredients.

1) Short-grain brown rice: I had tried long-grain brown rice several times before first trying the shorter variety. I never could get into the longer-grain kind because they always came out mushy and gross. When I first tried the short-grain rice at a Chinese restaurant, I instantly fell in love with its chewy texture and almost nutty taste. I will even go as far as to say I prefer it to white rice. If you haven't tried it, give it a whirl.

2) Spinach: Before I started drinking green smoothies, the only time I really ate spinach was when I made a Nigerian dish with it or ate spinach salad. Now it's appearing more and more in my consciousness. You can't go wrong with this powerful vegetable

3) Kashi Go Lean Crunch + Vanilla Silk Soy: I list these two together because this is my breakfast staple. The combo is so perfect together. Kashi's cereals are filling and healthy but I tend to have to soak the Crunch for a little while as the grains are quite hard and might be detrimental to my dental work.

4) Plain Greek Yogurt: I love the thickness and creaminess of this yogurt. It's also slightly tart so I love the fact that I can control the level of sweetness by adding a touch of honey. I usually will cut up some fresh fruits like apples, peaches, or mangoes in the yogurt with a few walnuts or almonds. YUM!

Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my favorites. What are your favorite health foods? Do share, I always needs suggestions!

Happy Eating!

Lara.

Zumba!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as I mentioned in the previous post, this past week, I decided to branch out of my gym and kickboxing rut and try something new. For the past couple of years, every other month, I would go to the website of a local Dallas dance/pilates studio (www.movestudio.com) and browse through their list of classes thinking I would some day join. Well, last week, I did that and noticed that they had a one week trial for unlimted classes at $15 for the whole week and icing on cake, they also had a Zumba class. Now I'd tried Zumba once before but did not particularly enjoy it. It was held in a small martial arts gym with navy blue carpets in the exercise room. Seriously, who exercises on carpet? It lacked a lot of energy and so while I got a good workout, I wasn't particularly interested in going back.

Well, when I saw this studio had a Zumba class, I decided to check it out. If you haven't already heard about Zumba, it's a cardio dance routine that combines latin, reggae, hip hop, etc dance with fun, funky music. Check out this link for an example:



SO, last Sunday, I signed up for the one week trial and went to the studio. It was a calm, quiet, really zen studio which I immediately felt comfy in. This particular zumba class was held by a first time teacher. She said it would be a non-verbal class so we basically had to follow her cues which took some getting used to, particularly since she was sometimes off beat and my body was trying to do its own thing, but overall, I got an awesome workout and left sweaty and sore.

On Tuesday, I tried another Zumba class held by another instructor with a coworker I convinced to join me. That was mega fun. The music was great, she threw in some country line dancing, reggae, jive, etc, and her movements were spot on with the music so I will definately keep going back to that. Then on Thursday, I went for what was described as a Cardio Latin dance class which was taught by this big, burly man who immediately told us the dancing was modeled after Arthur Murray's dance classes. Needless to say, I spent the whole hour spinning around in circles trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. My coworker and I decided we didn't care too much for that one. It was very ballroomish and wasn't what I was looking for. Silver lining: I still got a good workout(and a few dizzy spells) just from trying to keep up.

Afterwards, on our way out, we noticed a hip-hop class ending. It looked like a lot of fun and my friend and I decided to stay for the next class which was hip-hop level 2. Whew! We were already sore and tired but decided to milk our one week trial. That class was HARD! It was highly choreographed and the tiny a$$ instructor wanted us doing floor work. At one point, I had the class cracking up because I told her I had to get off the floor piece by piece, not bouncing off it like she was doing. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one who couldn't get on and off the floor like a limber teenage street dancer so she modified the moves. By the time we left that night at 9:30pm, all either of us wanted to do was go home, shower and sleep!!!!

So, I've decided to stick to just the Zumba. I'll go twice a week on Tuesdays and Sundays. The classes are incredibly pricey but they are worth the extra workout and fun. After all, if I was to hire a personal trainer, I'd be paying at least $50/session and with this, I'm paying about $11/class so... I'm frugal(read: cheap) but I will just have to blindly go into this one and keep telling myself that the end justifies the means.

Anyone else try Zumba? What are your thoughts?

Till next time,
XoXo

Lara

Back after a small hiatus...

Behold! Your prodigal blogger is back! I didn't go anywhere, my mind has just been in a million different places and trying to chill out enough to gather my thoughts has proven quite difficult. But, the good thing about having a blog is that it calls and nags at you till you finally sit down and put down all those posts you've had swimming in your head. SO, here I am.

The past two weeks have been interesting, weight wise. My weight has fluctuated around 230 lbs. I have been gaining and losing the same couple of pounds every other day. I've seen 228, 229 and 230, and 232 on the scale. My WW weight last week was 230lbs. The week before, it was 232 lbs. Yesterday, I went over to a friends and had a couple of drinks, some chips, gumbo and crab legs. The food was great but far saltier than I've grown accustomed to. This morning, the scale registered at 232 lbs. I know a lot of it is water retention so I'm attemping to combat that today before my weigh-in tomorrow. I also had sushi on Friday at a sushi buffet(all you can eat) so needless to say, I've been doing tons of salt lately.

I've also been in and out of tracking. I've gotten better about it but by Wednesday usually, I start slipping. Personally, for me, I know I have only one of two choices when it comes to whether or not I'll lose weight: I either have to track religiously or cook my own food. If I eat out and don't track, I'm in deep doodoo. So which is it going to be, Lara?

Anyway, I've also tried a few new things exercise wise. I'll write more about them in my next post.

Ciao!

Lara

Exhaling...

The heavens must have heard my pleas...Today, I woke up feeling lighter so I decided to take a chance and weigh on my home scale. It registered 228.5lbs, 0.9 lbs less than it did yesterday. I don't know if it's just "noise" but I will take it because I don't think I've seen that number years!

I have no explanation for it. I haven't worked out since Saturday due to my wonky back but I was deliberate with my food yesterday. Even though I ate out, I pre-planned.

Here is a quick summary:

Breakfast - Oatmeal with a peach, a few walnuts and brown sugar
Lunch - Taco Bueno, two chicken soft tacos and 1/2 a cup of mexican rice. I ate one taco for lunch and the rice and the other a few hours later when I started feeling hungrier.
Dinner - Chick-Fil-A, Chargrilled Chicken and Fruit salad(I love this salad) with spicy dressing.

Now, yesterday, I got hungrier quicker than I have in the past month or so, so I think that's a clear indication that my portions have been out of control again which will explain the ups and downs in my weight loss. BTW, I went on this website:
Dottie's Weight Loss Zone to find out the points values of the fast foods I was going to eat. It made the decision making process so much easier because had I not, I would have consumed a lot more.

So here's to the powerful magic of TRACKING and CONSCIOUSNESS where food is concerned. My battle now lies in keeping this momentum and not seeing the number go up, and also working to bring it down even further.

Ciao ya'll.

Lara

And now, a word on MOTIVATION

Since I'm needing a boost in motivation, I'm trying to read and watch as much as I can about weight loss to help me regain the mental fortitude to keep the faith and stay in the battle.

Over the weekend, I was able to catch a rerun of a show called XXX-Weight loss, or something like that. Sounds sketchy but it was basically featuring people who'd lost about 100 lbs or more naturally. The three X's come from the fact that they used unconventional methods to lose the weight - one man biked across the country, another one lady ran marathons, another took up belly dancing and switched to organic foods. For all of them, they made radical changes in order to fight the weight.

Here is another great success story I ran into over the weekend. I watched her YouTube videos over the weekend and while she wasn't saying anything I didn't already know, just seeing her results really started to get my mind moving again in the direction of radical change.

Check her out:


This begs the question: "What radical change am I willing to make to get this weight off?"

XoXo

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays - Big, FAT, Goose Egg!!

Yes, it's been a week since I last wrote anything.
I'm not sure why, but my level of motivation has sort of deteriorated over the past week. I still managed to get in three good workouts last week but my eating SUCKED! No tracking, no monitoring, no real attention to anything, just plenty of eating out and slacking off.

So it's no wonder that at the weigh-in today, I had lost exactly 0lbs. Since I'm trying to change my thought process regarding my weight and weight loss, I'll pull the silver lining out of this one: I didn't gain anything either. I stayed exactly the same - 229.4lbs. Down to the 0.4 lbs.

I felt a bit bad, there were a lot of celebrations this week and I would love to get another 5 lb star. 20 lbs is eluding me... Or I'm eluding it with my lack of consistent dedication to anything other than exercise.

To make matters worse, I jacked up my back somehow. I'm going to try to run tomorrow but I probably shouldn't. I just don't like being inactive and I'm scared the laziness will start to seep in again.

Anyway, that's my largely unmotivating story today. I have to find a way out of this rut!

Bah humbug....

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays

What? What's happening? I'm actually writing about my weigh-in with WW on a Monday? Wow? Wonders never cease! :-) Maybe I've finally conquered my procastination...NOT!!!

I'm happy. I went down 1LB from last week. It's not a miraculous amount of weight, but any trend downwards is a miracle. I'm thrilled. 1LB really does make a world of difference to me in my face, in how much I can do when I work out, in how my clothes fit. Just think, that's 4 sticks of butter I dropped over the course of a week!

Thinking of it in those terms really does make a world of difference!!!

Goal for this week is a 1.5 - 2.0lb loss!

Happy losing!!!

P.S, I lost four of those sticks of butter in the image above, yay!
Lara

Treadmill Vs. Track

Happy Sunday, all!
I hope the weekend has been great. Mine has been very relaxing, simply because except for my Saturday kickboxing class, I have deliberately done nothing else. I don't know why but I just love doing nothing on weekends, it helps me relax, regroup, and re-energize.

Anyway, last week, for the first time since I really started this weight loss journey and my running program, I took my run outside to the track. It was on Thursday and I woke up feeling like I just couldn't face the treadmill. The ennui of running in place at the gym while my staring at news shows I can't hear because I have some reggae/soca blasting in my ear just did not seem appealing to me.

So, even though it was cloudy and slightly drizzling, I decided to experiment with the track. I expected it to be hella hard because the treadmill does provide some assistance with running. If it gets too hard, you can hold on to the hand rails and you also don't have to make adjustments for curves on the track or wind resistance or the insane Texas heat we've been experiencing. Surprisingly, I was able to complete a workout similar to my treadmill work out. I am not sure why. I think most of it was sheer mental fortitude because the proud side of me did not want to be outdone by the outdoors, but also, I think having to bear my own weight with no assistance forced me to pace myself in ways I typically wouldn't on the treadmill.

So, on the track, I did a 0.25 mile walking warm up, a 2 mile run and 0.25 mile cool down. Some observations: I felt a lot more tired outside than I do running inside. The next day, my joints "hurt" more than they typically would. I wasn't in pain, or anything but I definitely could tell the difference. I'm going to continue to run on the track. It's a much softer surface than concrete but I think I get a much better workout than the treadmill. Plus I feel more at peace with nature, more spiritually grounded when I'm outside in the breeze.

I'm going to try this program out that I found on the Women's Health website:
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/intermediate-running-weightloss-program

It's an intermediate running plan and I think I'm ready to kick it up a notch.

Wish me luck!

P.S, Oh to look like that runner above. Not the cartoon, sillies!
Lara

Green Smoothies

My new favorite thing - Green Smoothies! Isn't it serendipitous how life can be? You see, I had read a couple of times in the past of these weird vegetable and fruit smoothie combos and balked at the thought of drinking a smoothie with vegetables in it. As I sip on one now, I wonder what made me go from thinking "eeewww!" to "Gotta try one of those?"

I attribute it first to my current state of mind. In my attempt to be more health conscious, I find myself being open to things I would have turned my back on in the past. I am more willing to try new things, and if I don't like it, I don't ever have to do it again. I have also been trying to find new ways to get my 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Even with eating better, my diet is very grain and protein heavy, and so this helps combat that problem. Finally, I decided to give it a whirl when I read on one of my favorite beauty blogs - Clumps of Mascara - of the delicious goodness these smoothies hold.

So what exactly is a green smoothie. The premise is to blend a vegetable such as spinach or kale, or a combination of vegetables with fruit till smooth. I have used different combinations. I decided to add a bit of almond milk in my smoothies and I always use frozen bananas for that iciness. The combo I tried tonight had a frozen banana, fresh spinach, about 1/2 a cup of almond milk, a small mango and a can of crushed pineapple. I added a touch of honey and a sliver of ginger and blended till smooth. My first attempt was a bit chunky because I didn't blend thoroughly enough, so do blend until the mixture is pretty smooth.

There are endless combinations. I have done a berry one with strawberries, blueberries, spinach and bananas, etc... Whatever fruit I find, I throw them in.

The results? I supplement some of my meals with these smoothies. For instance, tonight, I didn't feel like a whole meal so I made a smoothie instead. I find that my cravings are greatly reduced, I am satisfied without feeling full, I have a lot more energy and well, with the extra fiber, let's just say things are moving along my digestive system nicely.

Doing a google search will yield a ton of recipes. Do give them a whirl and let me know what you think.

XoXo.

Lara

Water Weight and the like..

Behold, your prodigal blogger returns! I could find a lot of excuses for why I have not been regularly blogging but they'd all be lies. Truth is, I've been lazy! I have a million things swirling around in my head that I need to jot down on this blog, but sitting still long enough to do it often presents a challenge. Do forgive me.

This past week was Week 2 of Session 2 with Weight Watchers. I didn't have high hopes as I was retaining water. Yes, it was that time of the month. I mark those days on my WW tracker with a pink highlighter pen, because inevitably, I am a few pounds heavier and it brings me some comfort to know that there is a reason why I've gained. I weighed in on Monday at 232 lbs. Today, I weighed on my home scale at 229 lbs. I know I have not lost 3 lbs of fat in a week. Truth is probably 2 lbs was water and 1 lb was fat.

I am back to exercising regularly. I made the gym three times this week for my runs. My eating has been mediocre at best. I have been supplementing some of my meals with green smoothies (more on this later) but for lunch, I have eaten out every day the past week, which I'm not proud of. I don't even particularly enjoy eating out, unless it is something like Thai or Indian food.

Guys, I am 4lbs away from having lost 20lbs. I can't wait. For some reason, that is such a huge milestone in my head. June was a bust for me. I completely threw all caution to the wind and over-indulged during my birthday and my vacation, but in July, I plan to cross that 20 lb mark and even possibly, make my 10% WW goal of 24 lbs. Apparently, studies have shown that if you lose at least 10% of your body weight if you are overweight, you start to experience significant improvements in health.

On an even more positive note, I've been getting feedback from people saying they are noticing my weight loss and the size 18 jeans I bought the other day are now loose! I'm not going to go crazy yet and buy a size 16 but I can't wait till that moment when I'm able to slip those on comfortably!!!

Wish me luck!

XoXo

Lara!

R.I.P, Michael

It's simple: There will never be another like you.
You are everywhere, you live in so many hearts, your music has touched so many people.
May you find perfect peace, finally.

A little inspiration - fat vs muscle

Sort of puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Eewwwww....

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays

As usual, I'm posting this a day late! Mondays are hectic for me and by the time I leave work at 7pm, I just wanna come home and crash!

Anyhew, so yesterday was the first session of the new Weight Watchers program at work. It seemed like a lot more people joined this time around. There were certainly more men. Last session, by the end, there was only one man standing and he had beat all the ladies out with a 38 lb weight loss. Freak! :-)

I didn't have a lot of expectations for this weigh-in, quite frankly. I hadn't been tracking, hadn't been doing much deliberate exercise, but I knew even my new size 18 jeans were feeling loose, so I went in optimistic. I lost a pound, which is great, considering the fact that not only wasn't I trying to lose weight, I wasn't trying NOT to gain weight either. Perhaps even when I think I'm eating crap, I'm not eating as much crap as I once did. Anyway, my net weight loss is still at 15.8 lbs. I really want to get down next week though. I'm tired of seeing 230lbs on the scale.

Confession Time: Today, I went off plan. I had taken my lunch to work - steamed veggies and two slices of meatloaf from a local co-op here called Sprouts. But a fellow WW partner didn't bring her lunch as we'd planned and I easily succumbed to the allure of going to grab some fried catfish, fries, and hushpuppies! Bad Lara, Bad Lara! I love catfish and can't resist it. Anyway, to make it worse, another coworker was going to Braums and I asked her to bring me back some frozen yogurt. I got a small cup of it and it was great but I so didn't need that.

Anyway, as was reiterated in the session yesterday, sometimes we have to indulge our cravings. I came home tonight and cooked and plan to stay on track tomorrow.
I am also going to have to stop allowing myself to be so easily swayed towards unhealthier fare.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Lara

Clutter, Clutter, everywhere, CLUTTER!!!

My name is Lara and I'm a clutterholic! Seriously, I wish there was rehab for people like me, who in spite of my constant efforts to eradicate clutter from my life, I always seem to be surrounded by it.

Before I went on vacation, I spent a couple of days trying to tidy up and simplify my space. I bought a couple of jars on sale from The Container Store and put a few random bags of rice, beans, and brown sugar in them. I sorted through my bathroom cabinets and took a hard look at the products I use and threw *some* out. I stacked a few of my "too big" clothes in addition to some of my "too small, but don't want to be seen in them anymore anyway" clothes in trash bags. I soon grew weary, decided I'd done enough, left everything as is, and concentrated on having a great vacation.

Now, here is where it always goes south. I always stop half-way through this process. Even when I have piles of things to go to Goodwill, I leave them for months where they are stacked and then pile other crap on top of that stuff. I've only been back four days from my trip and already, there is crap everywhere. It is almost as if I am not aware of when the clutter is happening, I only see the results. Things are left where I put them which is often not where they belong. Shoes are left in living rooms, coffee mugs on computer table, books on or around the bed, and I rarely ever eat on my dining room table because there is no space!

They do say knowing there is a problem is half the cure, right? I admire people who keep very neat and organized spaces. I strive to emulate that. I have read books and online articles on how to create a more zen-like space. I know I'm not alone...there are several shows that deal with this issue: Mission Organization, Clean House, Neat, etc. But knowing there is a problem, how do I solve it?

I have decided to address this as I did my weight-loss because quite frankly, I believe clutter also hinders my progress with my weight:

Cluttered Space ---> Cluttered Mind---> Cluttered Body.


My first step is to devise a plan. One that has worked when I've implemented it is the SPACE method which I learned from a book written by Julie Morgenstern called: Organizing from the Inside Out. SPACE stands for:
Sort. Put like items together, room by room. Don't stop to put them where you think they belong, just sort them for now.
Purge. Get rid of things that are broken, old, torn, or that no longer reflects the image you are currently trying to portray. Put them in a boxes that are labeled "Give Away" or "Trash"
Assign. Once you have sorted and purged, then you assign a permanent space to these items. Survey your living space and consider any restrictions you might have. My shoes need to go in my CLOSET on my SHOE RACK not on my living room floors, for instance.(Sorry, I'm yelling at myself)
Containerize. Have a dedicated spot to put your stuff away. Books in bookshelves, papers in file cabinets, etc. I try to find creative uses for regular household items. I saw on a show where this chick put her earrings in ice-cube trays and stuck them in a drawer. I stole the idea and it works perfectly.
Equalize. This is where I always tend to run into issues because it requires being present. It means spending time each day/week to return things to where they belong so that the clutter doesn't continue to breed like mold. I might need to have a daily timer go off or something to remind me to equalize.

So, that's my plan. I will let you know how it goes. I need to do this NOW, get it under control NOW, because I do not want to take these habits with me out of an apartment and into a house.

I am always eager to learn more tips and ideas for decluttering so if you do have any, please let me know!!!

Namaste!

Lara