The Derailed Train

Isn't it ironic...My last post was about making a u-turn and getting back on track and it was filled with so much optimism and promises and now here I am, almost two months later, completely derailed, with perhaps just one wheel on the track.

Here's the truth: I've been avoiding this blog. I could tell you of all the things I'm attempting to do(buying a home being chief amongst them) but the truth is that this blog has always in a way held me accountable to myself and because I have for the past couple of months, failed miserably at the weight loss game, I have played the "see no evil" game with myself. I've been like my little nephew who when he doesn't want to be social will close his eyes and pretend not to see you. I have done the same with my weight. The problem is that for the first time in a long time, this year, I made progress and so the part of me that has changed is in deep battle with the part of me that hasn't, so there is this nagging voice that's telling me to stop the bullshit and get back on track.

Friends, I haven't run in forever, I have eaten every fried, greasy thing I can find. I have stuffed my face with cookies, cakes and candy and I've done it with the little devil on my shoulder gagging the little angel on my other shoulder and promising to kill her and her family if she tries to talk me out of my food debauchery.

I.FEEL.LIKE.CRAP! For the past two weeks, my digestive system has been acting up. I feel bloated, gassy, and lethargic. My muscles feel like they are seizing up and I'm feeling aches and pains that worry me.

I can't blame the fact that my Weight Watchers meetings at work are on hiatus until the first of the year. There are still meetings in my neighborhood and if it meant enough to me, I'd go. I can't blame stress because there will always, of and on, be life issues that bring a certain degree of stress and will I always eat my stress away? If so, I'll always be in battle with my weight.

The lowest weight I saw on the scale was 225lbs back in September. It was an anomaly and didn't last long. The last time I weighed, I was 231lbs. I can feel every bit of those extra pounds. I can't do this anymore.

I'm not going to make any grand declarations this time around. I'm just going to do what I started off doing, making the changes I need to make and documenting the journey. I have learned that even this; even failure, is part of the journey. This is who I am: a person struggling to choose good over not so good, healthy over not so healthy, exercise over laying on my couch, and if I can do this even 80% of the time, I am already winning the battle.

Happy Trails, mon amis!

Lara

Making a U-Turn.

Here's the truth: I stopped writing for a while because I lost my motivation. I was tired, week after week, of gaining and losing the same 1 - 2 lbs and only half-heartedly following the WW plan, while others in my WW group had lost in 6 weeks more than I've lost since I started this plan over 5 months ago! BUT, thanks to the prodding of good friend(thanks, Syl and Tangy) and a sudden drop in weight(more on this later), I'm BACK! I must say, I've missed writing, missed this blog, missed focusing on me.

What have I been up to? Well, I was the maid-of-honor at a friend's wedding. For weeks before that, I was doing a bunch of running around trying to get ready for that, as well as taking on my huge decluttering project, while having a house guest and starting a new job. I feel like I've been constantly on the move for a month, which is a huge change of pace for me. The wedding was great, and somehow, while in Maryland, even without working out, or tracking, I lost 4 lbs over the weekend?! I attribute it to the fact that we got very little sleep, ate pretty sporadically and when we did eat, it was healthy, Nigerian food. I came back and got a cold/flu which also adversely affected my appetite. So without much deliberate effort, I've dropped to the lowest weight I've seen on the scale in a while which is 225.5lbs. Needless to say, I'm thrilled.

Now I haven't worked out in quite a while. The last bit of exercise I did was Zumba two weeks ago. I miss running. I was to get up and go kickboxing this morning but my body is still so tired for being up late coughing my lungs up, that I turned over and went back to sleep.

So, now that my life is getting back to normal, it's time to regroup for the hundreth time this year. I'm calling on the wisdom of Dr. Oz in his book: You on a Diet. In it, he mentions making a dietary/fitness u-turn when you get off track. Instead of completely giving up and regressing, acknowledge you've lost your way and then turn around and go back in the right direction. Even though I'm still losing weight, I'm not happy with the fact that I've gotten off the fitness track and my diet is still in dire need of work. I just don't FEEL good.

Also, even though I'm glad I lost weight before the wedding, the photos still show me how far I have to go. I still battle with feeling smaller than I look and it's disheartening having to contend with your true size in pictures, but it's all a part of the journey and as Maya Angelou says: "Won't take nothing for my journey now."

Alright friends, here we go again!

The struggle continues.

Lara

My Favorite "Health" Foods

I'm not a big fan of the words "health food" because I feel that ideally, most everything we eat should be healthy. Unfortunately, as a culture, we have become so far removed from what real food should taste like that anything that's really good for us is thought of as boring, bland, etc...

I tend to straddle the fence between eating pure, unadulterated food and pure, junky, crappy food. But one thing is for sure, when I eat a bunch of junk, my body starts craving something healthy and wholesome. It is usually at that point that I make something with one or more of these healthy ingredients.

1) Short-grain brown rice: I had tried long-grain brown rice several times before first trying the shorter variety. I never could get into the longer-grain kind because they always came out mushy and gross. When I first tried the short-grain rice at a Chinese restaurant, I instantly fell in love with its chewy texture and almost nutty taste. I will even go as far as to say I prefer it to white rice. If you haven't tried it, give it a whirl.

2) Spinach: Before I started drinking green smoothies, the only time I really ate spinach was when I made a Nigerian dish with it or ate spinach salad. Now it's appearing more and more in my consciousness. You can't go wrong with this powerful vegetable

3) Kashi Go Lean Crunch + Vanilla Silk Soy: I list these two together because this is my breakfast staple. The combo is so perfect together. Kashi's cereals are filling and healthy but I tend to have to soak the Crunch for a little while as the grains are quite hard and might be detrimental to my dental work.

4) Plain Greek Yogurt: I love the thickness and creaminess of this yogurt. It's also slightly tart so I love the fact that I can control the level of sweetness by adding a touch of honey. I usually will cut up some fresh fruits like apples, peaches, or mangoes in the yogurt with a few walnuts or almonds. YUM!

Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my favorites. What are your favorite health foods? Do share, I always needs suggestions!

Happy Eating!

Lara.

Zumba!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as I mentioned in the previous post, this past week, I decided to branch out of my gym and kickboxing rut and try something new. For the past couple of years, every other month, I would go to the website of a local Dallas dance/pilates studio (www.movestudio.com) and browse through their list of classes thinking I would some day join. Well, last week, I did that and noticed that they had a one week trial for unlimted classes at $15 for the whole week and icing on cake, they also had a Zumba class. Now I'd tried Zumba once before but did not particularly enjoy it. It was held in a small martial arts gym with navy blue carpets in the exercise room. Seriously, who exercises on carpet? It lacked a lot of energy and so while I got a good workout, I wasn't particularly interested in going back.

Well, when I saw this studio had a Zumba class, I decided to check it out. If you haven't already heard about Zumba, it's a cardio dance routine that combines latin, reggae, hip hop, etc dance with fun, funky music. Check out this link for an example:



SO, last Sunday, I signed up for the one week trial and went to the studio. It was a calm, quiet, really zen studio which I immediately felt comfy in. This particular zumba class was held by a first time teacher. She said it would be a non-verbal class so we basically had to follow her cues which took some getting used to, particularly since she was sometimes off beat and my body was trying to do its own thing, but overall, I got an awesome workout and left sweaty and sore.

On Tuesday, I tried another Zumba class held by another instructor with a coworker I convinced to join me. That was mega fun. The music was great, she threw in some country line dancing, reggae, jive, etc, and her movements were spot on with the music so I will definately keep going back to that. Then on Thursday, I went for what was described as a Cardio Latin dance class which was taught by this big, burly man who immediately told us the dancing was modeled after Arthur Murray's dance classes. Needless to say, I spent the whole hour spinning around in circles trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. My coworker and I decided we didn't care too much for that one. It was very ballroomish and wasn't what I was looking for. Silver lining: I still got a good workout(and a few dizzy spells) just from trying to keep up.

Afterwards, on our way out, we noticed a hip-hop class ending. It looked like a lot of fun and my friend and I decided to stay for the next class which was hip-hop level 2. Whew! We were already sore and tired but decided to milk our one week trial. That class was HARD! It was highly choreographed and the tiny a$$ instructor wanted us doing floor work. At one point, I had the class cracking up because I told her I had to get off the floor piece by piece, not bouncing off it like she was doing. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one who couldn't get on and off the floor like a limber teenage street dancer so she modified the moves. By the time we left that night at 9:30pm, all either of us wanted to do was go home, shower and sleep!!!!

So, I've decided to stick to just the Zumba. I'll go twice a week on Tuesdays and Sundays. The classes are incredibly pricey but they are worth the extra workout and fun. After all, if I was to hire a personal trainer, I'd be paying at least $50/session and with this, I'm paying about $11/class so... I'm frugal(read: cheap) but I will just have to blindly go into this one and keep telling myself that the end justifies the means.

Anyone else try Zumba? What are your thoughts?

Till next time,
XoXo

Lara

Back after a small hiatus...

Behold! Your prodigal blogger is back! I didn't go anywhere, my mind has just been in a million different places and trying to chill out enough to gather my thoughts has proven quite difficult. But, the good thing about having a blog is that it calls and nags at you till you finally sit down and put down all those posts you've had swimming in your head. SO, here I am.

The past two weeks have been interesting, weight wise. My weight has fluctuated around 230 lbs. I have been gaining and losing the same couple of pounds every other day. I've seen 228, 229 and 230, and 232 on the scale. My WW weight last week was 230lbs. The week before, it was 232 lbs. Yesterday, I went over to a friends and had a couple of drinks, some chips, gumbo and crab legs. The food was great but far saltier than I've grown accustomed to. This morning, the scale registered at 232 lbs. I know a lot of it is water retention so I'm attemping to combat that today before my weigh-in tomorrow. I also had sushi on Friday at a sushi buffet(all you can eat) so needless to say, I've been doing tons of salt lately.

I've also been in and out of tracking. I've gotten better about it but by Wednesday usually, I start slipping. Personally, for me, I know I have only one of two choices when it comes to whether or not I'll lose weight: I either have to track religiously or cook my own food. If I eat out and don't track, I'm in deep doodoo. So which is it going to be, Lara?

Anyway, I've also tried a few new things exercise wise. I'll write more about them in my next post.

Ciao!

Lara

Exhaling...

The heavens must have heard my pleas...Today, I woke up feeling lighter so I decided to take a chance and weigh on my home scale. It registered 228.5lbs, 0.9 lbs less than it did yesterday. I don't know if it's just "noise" but I will take it because I don't think I've seen that number years!

I have no explanation for it. I haven't worked out since Saturday due to my wonky back but I was deliberate with my food yesterday. Even though I ate out, I pre-planned.

Here is a quick summary:

Breakfast - Oatmeal with a peach, a few walnuts and brown sugar
Lunch - Taco Bueno, two chicken soft tacos and 1/2 a cup of mexican rice. I ate one taco for lunch and the rice and the other a few hours later when I started feeling hungrier.
Dinner - Chick-Fil-A, Chargrilled Chicken and Fruit salad(I love this salad) with spicy dressing.

Now, yesterday, I got hungrier quicker than I have in the past month or so, so I think that's a clear indication that my portions have been out of control again which will explain the ups and downs in my weight loss. BTW, I went on this website:
Dottie's Weight Loss Zone to find out the points values of the fast foods I was going to eat. It made the decision making process so much easier because had I not, I would have consumed a lot more.

So here's to the powerful magic of TRACKING and CONSCIOUSNESS where food is concerned. My battle now lies in keeping this momentum and not seeing the number go up, and also working to bring it down even further.

Ciao ya'll.

Lara

And now, a word on MOTIVATION

Since I'm needing a boost in motivation, I'm trying to read and watch as much as I can about weight loss to help me regain the mental fortitude to keep the faith and stay in the battle.

Over the weekend, I was able to catch a rerun of a show called XXX-Weight loss, or something like that. Sounds sketchy but it was basically featuring people who'd lost about 100 lbs or more naturally. The three X's come from the fact that they used unconventional methods to lose the weight - one man biked across the country, another one lady ran marathons, another took up belly dancing and switched to organic foods. For all of them, they made radical changes in order to fight the weight.

Here is another great success story I ran into over the weekend. I watched her YouTube videos over the weekend and while she wasn't saying anything I didn't already know, just seeing her results really started to get my mind moving again in the direction of radical change.

Check her out:


This begs the question: "What radical change am I willing to make to get this weight off?"

XoXo

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays - Big, FAT, Goose Egg!!

Yes, it's been a week since I last wrote anything.
I'm not sure why, but my level of motivation has sort of deteriorated over the past week. I still managed to get in three good workouts last week but my eating SUCKED! No tracking, no monitoring, no real attention to anything, just plenty of eating out and slacking off.

So it's no wonder that at the weigh-in today, I had lost exactly 0lbs. Since I'm trying to change my thought process regarding my weight and weight loss, I'll pull the silver lining out of this one: I didn't gain anything either. I stayed exactly the same - 229.4lbs. Down to the 0.4 lbs.

I felt a bit bad, there were a lot of celebrations this week and I would love to get another 5 lb star. 20 lbs is eluding me... Or I'm eluding it with my lack of consistent dedication to anything other than exercise.

To make matters worse, I jacked up my back somehow. I'm going to try to run tomorrow but I probably shouldn't. I just don't like being inactive and I'm scared the laziness will start to seep in again.

Anyway, that's my largely unmotivating story today. I have to find a way out of this rut!

Bah humbug....

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays

What? What's happening? I'm actually writing about my weigh-in with WW on a Monday? Wow? Wonders never cease! :-) Maybe I've finally conquered my procastination...NOT!!!

I'm happy. I went down 1LB from last week. It's not a miraculous amount of weight, but any trend downwards is a miracle. I'm thrilled. 1LB really does make a world of difference to me in my face, in how much I can do when I work out, in how my clothes fit. Just think, that's 4 sticks of butter I dropped over the course of a week!

Thinking of it in those terms really does make a world of difference!!!

Goal for this week is a 1.5 - 2.0lb loss!

Happy losing!!!

P.S, I lost four of those sticks of butter in the image above, yay!
Lara

Treadmill Vs. Track

Happy Sunday, all!
I hope the weekend has been great. Mine has been very relaxing, simply because except for my Saturday kickboxing class, I have deliberately done nothing else. I don't know why but I just love doing nothing on weekends, it helps me relax, regroup, and re-energize.

Anyway, last week, for the first time since I really started this weight loss journey and my running program, I took my run outside to the track. It was on Thursday and I woke up feeling like I just couldn't face the treadmill. The ennui of running in place at the gym while my staring at news shows I can't hear because I have some reggae/soca blasting in my ear just did not seem appealing to me.

So, even though it was cloudy and slightly drizzling, I decided to experiment with the track. I expected it to be hella hard because the treadmill does provide some assistance with running. If it gets too hard, you can hold on to the hand rails and you also don't have to make adjustments for curves on the track or wind resistance or the insane Texas heat we've been experiencing. Surprisingly, I was able to complete a workout similar to my treadmill work out. I am not sure why. I think most of it was sheer mental fortitude because the proud side of me did not want to be outdone by the outdoors, but also, I think having to bear my own weight with no assistance forced me to pace myself in ways I typically wouldn't on the treadmill.

So, on the track, I did a 0.25 mile walking warm up, a 2 mile run and 0.25 mile cool down. Some observations: I felt a lot more tired outside than I do running inside. The next day, my joints "hurt" more than they typically would. I wasn't in pain, or anything but I definitely could tell the difference. I'm going to continue to run on the track. It's a much softer surface than concrete but I think I get a much better workout than the treadmill. Plus I feel more at peace with nature, more spiritually grounded when I'm outside in the breeze.

I'm going to try this program out that I found on the Women's Health website:
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/intermediate-running-weightloss-program

It's an intermediate running plan and I think I'm ready to kick it up a notch.

Wish me luck!

P.S, Oh to look like that runner above. Not the cartoon, sillies!
Lara

Green Smoothies

My new favorite thing - Green Smoothies! Isn't it serendipitous how life can be? You see, I had read a couple of times in the past of these weird vegetable and fruit smoothie combos and balked at the thought of drinking a smoothie with vegetables in it. As I sip on one now, I wonder what made me go from thinking "eeewww!" to "Gotta try one of those?"

I attribute it first to my current state of mind. In my attempt to be more health conscious, I find myself being open to things I would have turned my back on in the past. I am more willing to try new things, and if I don't like it, I don't ever have to do it again. I have also been trying to find new ways to get my 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Even with eating better, my diet is very grain and protein heavy, and so this helps combat that problem. Finally, I decided to give it a whirl when I read on one of my favorite beauty blogs - Clumps of Mascara - of the delicious goodness these smoothies hold.

So what exactly is a green smoothie. The premise is to blend a vegetable such as spinach or kale, or a combination of vegetables with fruit till smooth. I have used different combinations. I decided to add a bit of almond milk in my smoothies and I always use frozen bananas for that iciness. The combo I tried tonight had a frozen banana, fresh spinach, about 1/2 a cup of almond milk, a small mango and a can of crushed pineapple. I added a touch of honey and a sliver of ginger and blended till smooth. My first attempt was a bit chunky because I didn't blend thoroughly enough, so do blend until the mixture is pretty smooth.

There are endless combinations. I have done a berry one with strawberries, blueberries, spinach and bananas, etc... Whatever fruit I find, I throw them in.

The results? I supplement some of my meals with these smoothies. For instance, tonight, I didn't feel like a whole meal so I made a smoothie instead. I find that my cravings are greatly reduced, I am satisfied without feeling full, I have a lot more energy and well, with the extra fiber, let's just say things are moving along my digestive system nicely.

Doing a google search will yield a ton of recipes. Do give them a whirl and let me know what you think.

XoXo.

Lara

Water Weight and the like..

Behold, your prodigal blogger returns! I could find a lot of excuses for why I have not been regularly blogging but they'd all be lies. Truth is, I've been lazy! I have a million things swirling around in my head that I need to jot down on this blog, but sitting still long enough to do it often presents a challenge. Do forgive me.

This past week was Week 2 of Session 2 with Weight Watchers. I didn't have high hopes as I was retaining water. Yes, it was that time of the month. I mark those days on my WW tracker with a pink highlighter pen, because inevitably, I am a few pounds heavier and it brings me some comfort to know that there is a reason why I've gained. I weighed in on Monday at 232 lbs. Today, I weighed on my home scale at 229 lbs. I know I have not lost 3 lbs of fat in a week. Truth is probably 2 lbs was water and 1 lb was fat.

I am back to exercising regularly. I made the gym three times this week for my runs. My eating has been mediocre at best. I have been supplementing some of my meals with green smoothies (more on this later) but for lunch, I have eaten out every day the past week, which I'm not proud of. I don't even particularly enjoy eating out, unless it is something like Thai or Indian food.

Guys, I am 4lbs away from having lost 20lbs. I can't wait. For some reason, that is such a huge milestone in my head. June was a bust for me. I completely threw all caution to the wind and over-indulged during my birthday and my vacation, but in July, I plan to cross that 20 lb mark and even possibly, make my 10% WW goal of 24 lbs. Apparently, studies have shown that if you lose at least 10% of your body weight if you are overweight, you start to experience significant improvements in health.

On an even more positive note, I've been getting feedback from people saying they are noticing my weight loss and the size 18 jeans I bought the other day are now loose! I'm not going to go crazy yet and buy a size 16 but I can't wait till that moment when I'm able to slip those on comfortably!!!

Wish me luck!

XoXo

Lara!

R.I.P, Michael

It's simple: There will never be another like you.
You are everywhere, you live in so many hearts, your music has touched so many people.
May you find perfect peace, finally.

A little inspiration - fat vs muscle

Sort of puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Eewwwww....

Lara

Weigh-In Mondays

As usual, I'm posting this a day late! Mondays are hectic for me and by the time I leave work at 7pm, I just wanna come home and crash!

Anyhew, so yesterday was the first session of the new Weight Watchers program at work. It seemed like a lot more people joined this time around. There were certainly more men. Last session, by the end, there was only one man standing and he had beat all the ladies out with a 38 lb weight loss. Freak! :-)

I didn't have a lot of expectations for this weigh-in, quite frankly. I hadn't been tracking, hadn't been doing much deliberate exercise, but I knew even my new size 18 jeans were feeling loose, so I went in optimistic. I lost a pound, which is great, considering the fact that not only wasn't I trying to lose weight, I wasn't trying NOT to gain weight either. Perhaps even when I think I'm eating crap, I'm not eating as much crap as I once did. Anyway, my net weight loss is still at 15.8 lbs. I really want to get down next week though. I'm tired of seeing 230lbs on the scale.

Confession Time: Today, I went off plan. I had taken my lunch to work - steamed veggies and two slices of meatloaf from a local co-op here called Sprouts. But a fellow WW partner didn't bring her lunch as we'd planned and I easily succumbed to the allure of going to grab some fried catfish, fries, and hushpuppies! Bad Lara, Bad Lara! I love catfish and can't resist it. Anyway, to make it worse, another coworker was going to Braums and I asked her to bring me back some frozen yogurt. I got a small cup of it and it was great but I so didn't need that.

Anyway, as was reiterated in the session yesterday, sometimes we have to indulge our cravings. I came home tonight and cooked and plan to stay on track tomorrow.
I am also going to have to stop allowing myself to be so easily swayed towards unhealthier fare.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Lara

Clutter, Clutter, everywhere, CLUTTER!!!

My name is Lara and I'm a clutterholic! Seriously, I wish there was rehab for people like me, who in spite of my constant efforts to eradicate clutter from my life, I always seem to be surrounded by it.

Before I went on vacation, I spent a couple of days trying to tidy up and simplify my space. I bought a couple of jars on sale from The Container Store and put a few random bags of rice, beans, and brown sugar in them. I sorted through my bathroom cabinets and took a hard look at the products I use and threw *some* out. I stacked a few of my "too big" clothes in addition to some of my "too small, but don't want to be seen in them anymore anyway" clothes in trash bags. I soon grew weary, decided I'd done enough, left everything as is, and concentrated on having a great vacation.

Now, here is where it always goes south. I always stop half-way through this process. Even when I have piles of things to go to Goodwill, I leave them for months where they are stacked and then pile other crap on top of that stuff. I've only been back four days from my trip and already, there is crap everywhere. It is almost as if I am not aware of when the clutter is happening, I only see the results. Things are left where I put them which is often not where they belong. Shoes are left in living rooms, coffee mugs on computer table, books on or around the bed, and I rarely ever eat on my dining room table because there is no space!

They do say knowing there is a problem is half the cure, right? I admire people who keep very neat and organized spaces. I strive to emulate that. I have read books and online articles on how to create a more zen-like space. I know I'm not alone...there are several shows that deal with this issue: Mission Organization, Clean House, Neat, etc. But knowing there is a problem, how do I solve it?

I have decided to address this as I did my weight-loss because quite frankly, I believe clutter also hinders my progress with my weight:

Cluttered Space ---> Cluttered Mind---> Cluttered Body.


My first step is to devise a plan. One that has worked when I've implemented it is the SPACE method which I learned from a book written by Julie Morgenstern called: Organizing from the Inside Out. SPACE stands for:
Sort. Put like items together, room by room. Don't stop to put them where you think they belong, just sort them for now.
Purge. Get rid of things that are broken, old, torn, or that no longer reflects the image you are currently trying to portray. Put them in a boxes that are labeled "Give Away" or "Trash"
Assign. Once you have sorted and purged, then you assign a permanent space to these items. Survey your living space and consider any restrictions you might have. My shoes need to go in my CLOSET on my SHOE RACK not on my living room floors, for instance.(Sorry, I'm yelling at myself)
Containerize. Have a dedicated spot to put your stuff away. Books in bookshelves, papers in file cabinets, etc. I try to find creative uses for regular household items. I saw on a show where this chick put her earrings in ice-cube trays and stuck them in a drawer. I stole the idea and it works perfectly.
Equalize. This is where I always tend to run into issues because it requires being present. It means spending time each day/week to return things to where they belong so that the clutter doesn't continue to breed like mold. I might need to have a daily timer go off or something to remind me to equalize.

So, that's my plan. I will let you know how it goes. I need to do this NOW, get it under control NOW, because I do not want to take these habits with me out of an apartment and into a house.

I am always eager to learn more tips and ideas for decluttering so if you do have any, please let me know!!!

Namaste!

Lara

I'm back!!!

OK, so technically, I've been back since late on Wednesday night from what was a lovely escape from Dallas. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip. San Francisco, driving up the West Coast through the Avenue of the Giants, visiting the National Redwood Park and hiking its trails, touring Seattle...all of that was just what I needed.

I haven't had what can be considered a real vacation in years. I didn't realize what I'd missed. Just being in and around nature, climbing up hills, and seeing the coastal landscape brought a sense of clarity, serenity, and overall well-being that I haven't experienced in a while.

One thing I found surprising was how well I was able to keep up with my more athletic friends; one of whom plays soccer and the other runs half-marathons. Typically, I'd be out of breath and struggling to keep up with just walking, even. But with just these few pounds off, I felt energized, ready to take on any challenge. The desire to sit was rarely a thought in my mind.

Conversely though, I still marvel sometimes at pictures I see of myself because I somehow expect to be much smaller than I am. It's a weird dynamic because I start to wonder: "Damn, how big WAS I?" I realize I still have so far to go and while I've started on a great path of progress, it's time to regroup, refocus, and continue to whittle down the fat. I can't imagine how much better, I'll feel when I reach my goal weight.

It's all working serendipitously in sync. My new WW session starts on Monday and I'm so excited because it feels like a fresh start. I have gotten off the plan for the past month or so and I feel completely ready to plunge back in.

So friends, how are YOUR plans coming? Have they started? What struggles are you facing? Do share!

Ciao!!

Lara

Happy Dance #2!!!

Alright, I'm blogging in my underwear, still haven't packed for my trip and have to leave the house in 1.5 hrs, but I couldn't NOT come on here and tell you that I just bought a pair of size 18 jeans from Old Navy and they fit PER.FECT.LY!!!!! Considering the fact, ya'll, that I once fit comfortably in a size 24, this is HUGE NEWS!!!

I'm soooo happy, I could cry!!!!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Lara!

Shopping While Fat.

Okay, this is going to be sort of a mini-rant. Why, oh why, do fashion "designers" out there make such ugly clothes for heavier people?! First, let me start off by saying I HATE shopping for clothes. It's always really demoralizing, even with my weight loss, because the really cute clothes stop at size 14 - 16, and even when you find a piece that *might* be cute, sometimes, they are so awkwardly tailored that you find yourself wondering if they used any real human beings as a prototype for the garment.

I have found that yes, you do get what you pay for. A lot of the time, more expensive clothing does feel and look better but I do not want to spend a lot on a wardrobe now because:
a) My recession hit way before the nation's did and I don't have a lot to spend on clothing.
b) Because a 5-10 lb loss sometimes leads to dramatic changes in the way my clothes fit, there is no point in spending tons of money on clothing right now.

However, when I do want to pick a piece or two to compliment my wardrobe or replace something that's now too big, I would like to have some inexpensive, nice designed clothes, dammit!

So I went into Kohl's tonight, looking for a few pieces for my vacation to the West Coast tomorrow, and found myself mumbling out loud like a mad woman as I surveyed the merchandise: "Why would anyone do that to themselves?" or "That is so completely fugly!" Piece by piece, I found myself shaking my head in disgust. Most of the garments had some sort of weird embroidery, sequin or floral. Forget about finding cute pants, jeans, or capris. They all look like something Sponge Bob Square Pants would wear! Why do they have to taper at the bottom?!

Anyway, I eventually gave up and left empty-handed. I can't blame it all on the store; I'm cheap and impatient which makes for a bad combo when shopping in a store like that. But I still think there is such a huge opportunity out there. Maybe these designers should watch a few episodes of "What not to wear" on TLC. They could learn about wrap dresses, wonderful prints, bold statements, accenting the waist, straight legged pants, fit, cut, ruching, breathable fabrics...need I go on?

I'll stop my rant here but I just had to get that off my chest. For a blog that deals primarily with the issues of weight and fashion, check out this blog by a London based blogger: Too Fat For Fashion

On a side note, I will be traveling to San Francisco tomorrow for a road trip up the coast to Seattle and will be back late on Wednesday. Wish me luck with my diet! I plan to make really good food choices and hopefully get some delectable seafood while I'm at it.

XOXO!!!

Lara.

Weigh-In Mondays: Redemption (sorta)

Isn't it just like a procrastinator to post about a Monday weigh-in on Tuesday? Sorry!!!

Well, the WW weigh-in yesterday wasn't as horrible as I anticipated. As you probably read, after eating everything I wanted last week, on Saturday morning, my home scale registered a 5lb gain. Because I couldn't bring myself to have that documented in my WW book, I decided to try to fix that over the weekend. So, I went for my kickboxing class, and for the most part, all weekend, ate my own food. I did still have chocolate and an oatmeal cookie. Yesterday morning, I also went for my run. I didn't have much for breakfast before the weigh-in. The scale registered at a 1.4 lb gain.

Strangely enough, I'm pleased with that because it could have been much worse. Yesterdays meeting was the end of our first WW at-work session. Fortunately, enough people are interested so we'll start our new session on June 22. My goal for this 17 week session is to:

1) Get back to actively and religiously tracking my meals
2) Incorporate weight training and perhaps join the combat kickboxing boot camp at my gym. I plan to go check it out tonight just to see what it looks like.
3) Steadily drop 1.5 - 2 lbs week-to-week. In the beginning of this last session, I was dropping on average 1.4lbs a week but I think I can step that up a bit.
4) Pack lunch at least 3 days a week. Eating out is my biggest downfall and lunch is that meal for me. I don't often eat dinner out.
5) Clean up my diet. I still eat too many fried foods and sweets and not enough vegetables. When I cook, I'm at my healthiest so the goal is to start cooking meals for the week on weekends and start planning better!

So here is to redemption and new beginnings!

Ciao!

Lara

It (probably) isn't your thyroid!

So, this may sound funny, bizarre, even sad, but last year, I was *almost* hoping I had a thyroid problem. You see, I was gaining on average about 2lbs a month and although I knew my diet was atrocious and exercise was non-existent in my life, I still couldn't quite grasp the fact that what I was suffering from was an acute case of "hand to mouth disease."

It didn't help my delusions that at a health fair hosted by my job, an acupuncturist hooked me up to a machine that would tell me which parts of my insides had blocked chi(energy). He pointed to my thyroid, kidneys and liver as problem spots and could also see in that miraculous machine that I had familial stressors. Nodding even though I couldn't really think of any at the time, I soaked it all up like a sponge. He said: "So, your recent weight gain is not your fault!" Ah! Finally! Someone who GETS it. It's not my fault I'm fat! After all, even Oprah gained weight due to a jacked up thyroid, right?

Anyhew, I took this new-found knowledge and promised to schedule a follow-up session with this wise prophet. But then, my b.s meter started going off pretty loudly in my mind. I decided that before I shelled out some money for herbs and needles, I should attempt to see what science had to say about my body. I hadn't had a physical in years and finally went in. I had the works done and after a bunch of drama(the damn doctor's office lost my blood and I had to go back a month later to get re-stuck), the results came back. The bored-sounding male nurse who called rattled off my results like he was reading off a menu: "Everything looks okay. Your kidneys are fine, your liver is fine, your good cholesterol is fine, your bad cholesterol is a bit high, so more fish oil in your diet. Your thyroid is FINE so no issues there." I don't know why but I heard in his tone: "So get off your ass and do something about your weight, it's not your thyroid!"

So here I was, confronted with two different schools of thought, one saying what I wanted to hear and the other, not really. I decided that while I'd always been curious about alternative medicine and have wanted to try acupuncture, I should try conventional methods of weight loss first. If after TRULY changing my diet and getting regular exercise, I didn't see clear and consistent results, then I would go unblock my chi.

A few pounds lost, I look back now and laugh at myself. I'm so grateful that there was nothing wrong with my thyroid. I can't imagine having to take medications to have to regulate my chemistry. Some people genuinely have thyroid problems and I'm sure it's nothing they would wish on anyone.

So friends, if you do have doubts, get a physical, rule out all possibilities that your weight is caused by anything other than over-consumption and under-activity, and if that isn't the case, suck it up and get on a plan!

Keep the faith!

Lara

P.S For more info on thyroid and weight gain see this article:
http://www.webmd.com/news/20080324/weight-gain-thyroid-gland-to-blame?src=RSS_PUBLIC

Mind over matter

Too often, when weight loss is discussed, the emphasis is on eating right and exerise. Very rarely is it ever addressed that to get to the point of making better food choices and having the motivation to exercise, the mind has to be worked on first. After so many years of battling with myself over my weight, I have come to the realization that weight loss starts from the mind. I once read a quote that went something like "Change only comes when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing." But how do we go from wanting to change to actually executing a plan to change.

Reasearchers have shown than people typically go through 5 stages when trying to make a behavioral change. The stages are:

1) PRE-CONTEMPLATION - You have no desire to exercise or eat right. You may not be happy with where you are with your health but you don't necessarily care enough to do anything about it.

2) CONTEMPLATION - You are not ready to exercise or eat right yet, but you are thinking about starting on a plan soon.

3) PREPARATION - My favorite! I'm a constant planner. I like to have everything in line before I take action. Unfortunately, for years, I have tried to come up with a perfectible plan, one without any room for error which has always led to failure. This stage is when you start devising your method of reaching your goals. This time for me, it was in choosing the workplace Weight Watcher's program and printing out my running guide. Make a plan but don't spend too long in this stage!

4) ACTION - You've taken the first steps, you are following your plan and making adjustments. I'm currently in the action phase but naturally, I still fall into the preparation stage. For instance, my emphasis with my exercise has been on running but lately, I've been contemplating weight lifting, preparing for it and have on occassion done a bit here and there at the gym but I'm not on an official weight lifting program yet.

5) MAINTENANCE - You are in your groove, you have replaced old habits with new healthier ones. Exercise is no longer a thought process, you feel weird if you don't do it, greasy foods make you sick, you crave fruit, etc.

I look forward to the maintenance phase but right now, I'm just trying to get to a point where I am fully immersed in my plan. My diet still needs a lot of work and I could be doing more exercise but at least I'm out of the pre-contemplation stage. A final thought: motivation comes with doing. Waiting to catch a fire to do anything about your health can take a long time and you don't want something negative like health issues to cause you to finally take your health seriously. Just just do it, now. Don't wait for Monday, or next month, or after 4th of July. Now!

XOXO
Lara

Paying Penance

Forgive me body, for I have sinned. You see, I had a birthday and decided to throw all caution to the wind and live it up! I ate, and I drank, and even though I made it to the gym on the morning of my birthday, I ruined that run with all the decadent desserts and fried calamari and sushi I consumed during the course of that day and thereafter.

I think I only counted points one day last week. As of today, I have worked out three times this past week. This morning, I jumped off the scale before it could really register that I was 5lbs heavier than my weigh-in on Monday in which I weighed in on the WW scale at work at 229.6 lbs.
Granted, I am retaining water (that time of the month) but I don't count that, I count all the grease, salt, liquor and every thing in between that I shoved in my mouth. I have regrets but I won't dwell on them because I had a good time. But it does go to show that exercise alone doesn't work for me. To lose weight and keep it off, I will ALWAYS need to be extremely mindful of what I eat. I don't know if I'll ever just be able to eat what I want, when I want.

So here goes, I'm trying to redeem myself this weekend so that my weigh-in on Monday does not lead me to tears. It's the end of our first WW session and we are trying to get another one going at work but not enough people have signed up yet. I hope it makes 'cause I'm still in so much need of help.

So here's to hopping back on the wagon. I'll always have fond memories of my birthday this year, but it's time to get back on plan.

Wish me luck!

Lara

Running 101 - The plan I followed

Hey there people! Your prodigal blogger is back! I have been for lack of a better excuse, lazy! But now I'm back with a quite a few posts up my sleeve.

I promised in an earlier post that I would post the plan I followed to be able to get to the point of running 30 minutes straight. There are tons of beginner plans out there and some of them use increments of mileage to help new runners train but I found this plan years ago(I think it came from the Cool Runnings website, but I could be wrong), copied it into the jacket of a journal and have carried it with me everywhere I've moved to because I always planned to conquer the 30 minute hurdle, and now I have.

I prefer this plan to all other plans I've seen because while it's quite challenging, it's eases you in into increasing your time. At times, it may be tempting to jump ahead - I started the plan at week 2 - but my recommendation is that to avoid injuries and getting burned out before week 10, stick as closely to the plan as possible. Also, attempt to structure your training so you get a day of rest in between each workout.

Finally, common sense stuff: as with all exercise programs, make sure you SHOULD be running, get checked out by a doctor first. If something feels wonky, assess it and make sure it's not something that could lead to permanent damage, get some rest, etc. Get proper running shoes, go to a specialty running store so they can measure your gait and recommend the appropriate shoes. For instance, I need shoes that stabilize my ankles and are wide enough for me. Okay, fine, I'll admit it, I wear men's running shoes. Don't laugh! :-)

Alright, enough talking, here's the plan:

WEEK1: Run 2mins/Walk 4mins, repeat 5x
WEEK2: Run 3mins/Walk 3mins, repeat 5x
WEEK3: Run 5mins/Walk 2.5mins, repeat 4x
WEEK4: Run 7mins/Walk 3mins, repeat 3x
WEEK5: Run 8mins/Walk 2mins, repeat 3x
WEEK6: Run 9mins/Walk 2mins, repeat 2x, Run 8mins
WEEK7: Run 9mins/Walk 1mins, repeat 3x
WEEK8: Run 13mins/Walk 2mins, repeat 2x
WEEK9: Run 14mins/Walk 1min, repeat 2x
WEEK10:Run 30mins straight!

Let me know how it goes!

Happy Running!

Lara

Home is where the food is...

Hi ya'll,
Sorry for being gone for a while. I was back home in North Carolina visiting family for Memorial Day. It's funny how wrapped up we get in our daily lives; so much so that I didn't realize it had been two years since I last visited NC.

Anyway, it was great being back. Although NC is my second home (my first being Nigeria), going back always leaves me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and especially, loved. It also always has me slightly anxious where my weight is concerned; first, because it's a relatively uncontrolled food environment and I am always so relaxed and lazy that exercise is the last thing on my mind, and second, because weight is something that my 96 year old grandmother loves to talk about, especially regarding the gaining or losing of it on other people.

Well, this time was no different. I ate all the home cooking I could find, snacked unrepentantly and did not count a WW point. I got no real deliberate exercise and spent a large amount of time lounging. Surprisingly however, my grandmother was complimentary about my weight, saying I was "a good size" and hadn't gained too much. I'm not sure if that's because she hadn't seen me in a while and was being kind or if she really meant it, but either way I took the compliment because I expected much worse.

I'm back now and immediately launched back into my running, and boy was it hard on that treadmill yesterday, but I pushed through. I'm back to tracking as well. I felt for sure I had gained a few pounds but surprise, surprise, I weighed this morning and was down to 229.5 lbs!!! I AM THRILLED! I have been praying, begging, wishing for the 220's for a minute there and to have it happen when I wasn't even trying is a huge surprise and blessing. I think back to most of what I ate and I think the difference this time was that a lot of what was eaten was healthy, wholesome food. The snacking wasn't, but it was controlled. For instance,I took bites of cheesecake instead of whole slices, I ate a scoop of ice cream instead of a bowl. I ordered a salad and ate half a turkey wrap while having lunch with my mom instead of a grand, fried, saucy meal, so maybe it's finally happening. Maybe a healthier way of living is seeping into my consciousness. I sure hope so.

In the meantime, I will keep on keeping on. The struggle continues!

Hope your Memorial Day weekend was great!

XOXO,

Lara

Food Review - Kashi Frozen Dinners

I am not a fan of frozen dinners. I find them to be bland, despite the typically high sodium count, and also not very filling. However, I am a fan of the Kashi brand of foods, which is why when I saw a four pack of their frozen dinners at Costco, I decided to give them a whirl. Additionally, because I have seen them featured on health food shows, I figured they could make a healthy addition to my diet for those days when I was crunched for time or needed a quick, healthy lunch.

The Costco 4-pack included two flavors: The Sweet and Sour Chicken and the Chicken Pasta Pomodoro. The nutritional info for both can be found on the Kashi website or you can click on these links for more info:

Sweet and Sour Chicken

Chicken Pasta Pomodoro

Both dinners in Weight Watchers points equate to 6 pts.

Now, for the most important part: the taste! The Sweet and Sour chicken was quite sweet. I still needed a bit of salt but it had a bit of a nice, smokey flavor to it. I loved all the different textures of the fresh vegetables in there, especially the edamame. I thought the sweetness overpowered the dish and could be toned down as they have a lot of really great ingredients that could shine through with less sweetness and slightly more of a saltier flavor. On a scale of 1-5, 5 being totally awesome, I would give this a 3.5. Note to Kashi - more soy sauce please!

The Chicken Pasta Pomodoro was slightly less exciting. I loved that they used whole grain penne pasta and that they were generous with the chicken. However, this was also a bit bland for me. I'm not sure if Kashi decided to go deliberately low in sodium to given the consumer the choice of amping up the flavor, but I found myself needing more of a couple of things in this meal. I felt it could have used more marinara sauce, more parmesan cheese, more salt and maybe a bit of pepper. I would give this a 3 for quantity, quality of ingredients, but not much on taste.

All in all, I think they are a great addition to any healthy eating plan. I would suggest, as I did, pairing them with a steamed vegetable or a soup as they leave you wanting a bit more. I look forward to trying some of the other flavors they have, especially the Lime Cilantro Shrimp and the Lemongrass Coconut Chicken.

Have you tried them or any other healthy frozen entrée? If you have, please do share your thoughts and suggestions.

Happy Eating!

Lara.

Weigh-In Mondays

Yesterday was my weekly WW weigh-in at work. Bah humbug... I stayed exactly the same, flat-lined from last week! 231.4 lbs. It's a bit disappointing but I know exactly why. Last week, even though I still kept up with my four weekly cardio sessions, I did not track like I'm supposed to. I started the week off tracking on Monday with the WW e-tools and the rest of the week lost absolute interest in tracking anything. Unfortunately, I also gained a renewed interest in all things chocolate and cookies.

If there is one thing I have learned over the past couple of weeks, it's how important tracking EVERY.SINGLE.THING you eat is. I know I want to get to a point where I never have to write things down again, but I'm certainly not there yet, particularly since I still have so many pounds to go. It is slightly tedious but the results are the reward. For example, a coworker of mine who had gained four pounds the week before when she did not track one morsel tracked last week and lost 4.6 lbs last week. Go figure.

Also, I need to continue to remind myself that eating right is about 80% of the journey, so I could workout every day of the week and still not lose; or even worse, gain weight. So here's to regrouping. We don't meet next week for the meetings due to Memorial Day so it will be two weeks before I know what the WW scale tells me but I will continue to weigh at home to monitor any changes I might be making in the meantime.

Here's to getting back on track!

Lara

Obstacles to Progress: Food Pushers

Food Pushers come in many forms. There is the family member who shows love by cooking rich, elaborate meals for those they love. There is the friend whose idea of a good time involves lots of cocktails and fried, greasy, appetitzers and for whom your new weight loss plan has become a downer. There are also those people who see you making progress and subconsciously (or not) try to find ways to derail your progress.

It is hard enough trying to navigate the food land mines out there. On every corner, at every turn, there is some commercial food pusher. But then, even closer to home, one must still be a food warrior, slaying junk-food dragons.

The key, I believe, is in individual accountability. I understand that at some point in life, I have been the food pusher. My motivations might not have been sinister, but my actions weren't exactly noble either. Conversely, now that I am the one in the struggle, I am trying to understand that for whatever reason another person is encouraging me to stuff my face, it is up to me whether or not I succumb. I have had to tell a coworker or two to back off when they are hovering over me with some tempting food or the other, trying to get me to give in. For people whose feelings you must spare, self-control becomes the key. Taking a bite or two and leaving the rest is a strategy I have employed. A taste won't derail your plans, many tastes will.

I have also found that being open about your plans to get healthy can discourage a lot of the temptations. I often hear "Oh, there is some cake over at so and so's desk..." and then "Oh, but I forgot, you are on Weight Watchers." It might sound strange, but that helps remind me of my goal.

So, for those of you out there trying to lose weight, what are your strategies for dodging those food bullets being shot your way? Do share!

xoxo,
Lara

Flight of the Penguin

I am not sure if what I do when I get on the treadmill can be considered running. It is more of a... shuffling. Perhaps, if I'm to be kinder to myself, I'd call it jogging. I don't run pretty; I don't have the light-footed gait of the long-limbed, gazelle-like high school track team that trains at the outdoor track I sometimes go to. In fact, I'm short, stumpy and flat footed. My ankles bend outwards when I walk or run(the experts at the running store call that overpronation, I call it needing new heels put on my shoes every couple of months because they are worn out on one side), not to mention the sticks of butter I lug with me everywhere. Yes, I look like a penguin when I run and I'm so totally okay with it. Why?

Because twelve weeks ago, I started a running plan that started me off with run/walk intervals which increased in time weekly. My first week was a run 3 mins / walk 3 minute/ repeat 5 times split. IT.WAS.NO.FUN! But I stuck with it and today, I'm running 30 minute straight! That was an ultimate goal that I was finally able to realize. Even as I was doing it, I had my doubts I'd finish the plan because I had tried several times to follow that same plan and always gave up.

The difference this time? I allow myself to run slower than I think I should. I "run" at a pace that many people walk at: 3.8 - 4.0mph, but it's enough for me. My heart rate is always high, I sweat profusely and I don't feel like laying down immediately afterward. Most importantly, yesterday, at a certain point in my run, I thought "I love this!" It was a foreign and completely absurd thought that the once couch potato is up and running without much prompting. It is truly an exciting change I see in myself.

So if you are interested, here are some great running sites for beginning runners:
www.coolrunning.com
www.runnersworld.com
www.jeffgalloway.com
www.johnbingham.com

Waddle, waddle, friends!

Lara
*image of penguins from www.outboardmotoroilblog.com/date/2008/10/*

The Happy Dance...

There are few moments in life when I break out my happy dance: when I get some unexpected money, when I find a great pair of shoes, and more recently, when the scale is kind to me and shows a downward trend or when I'm able to fit into something I couldn't before.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. You see, about five months ago, I went to Old Navy to buy a pair of jeans. Now let me preface this by saying that I only in the past two years started wearing jeans again after a long hiatus. The reason being that after I hit about 180 lbs, I felt I stopped looking good in them. Also, jeans usually tell you more about your size than you might want to know. I could bear the thought of wearing an XL in an a dress, skirt or shirt, but not a size 18 and eventually 20 in a jean.

Anyway, long story short, I eventually reluctantly sucked it up and purchased a few cheap jeans from Old Navy...the stretchy kind, in a 20. WELL, a few months later, I was feeling smaller and decided I needed a new pair of jeans (I hadn't officially started any real plans to drop pounds, so the smallness was wishful thinking) . Anyhoo, I walked into Old Navy and did the the neck test(that's when you wrap the waist of a pair of buttoned up jeans around your neck and if the edges touch, it means it will fit...no need to try them on, yeah right!), figured, "ehn, the edges touch, albeit snuggly, I'll get these!" and walked out there with my new jeans.

Let me tell you, I got home, and never have I been so betrayed by a piece of clothing! I could not pull the jeans up past my thighs!!!!!! Cold sweat, panic, resignation and perhaps all the other stages of grieve were felt in that moment. "But these were a size 20! " my mind screamed. The same size as the others I'd purchased! I took a gander at both jeans and realized I'd picked up a 20 regular! No stretch! SO, humbled, I folded up these new evil jeans and put them in plain sight and vowed to one day fit into those jeans if it killed me!

WELL, I am here to report, yesterday, after my run, I was feeling...dare I say, svelte - and I slipped on those jeans. Well, it was less slipping on and more jiggling, tugging and coaxing them on, but lo and behold, I was able to button them up and they fit! I even wore a belt! Needless to say, that was a moment of true triumph for me. It took losing 60 sticks of butter, but I met a goal I set for myself. It felt and still feels amazing!

So comrades, is there an outfit you can't wait to get into? Do share! I would love to hear your stories.

GENESIS....

1 pound = 4 sticks of butter
I want to lose 100 lbs, hence the title of my blog.
My name is Lara, and after over a decade of battling with my weight, I have finally, finally, finally, decided to cut the crap, and plunge head first into the deep, murky waters of weight loss.

This blog is meant to chronicle the struggle - the joys, the pains, the "eureka" moments - of my journey. At the very least, I hope it's a journal I can one day look back on and smile with pride at how far I've come. BUT, truth be told, my deepest hope is that someone, somewhere, will read my blog and be inspired to change his or her life for the better.

I have read many success stories over the years and now I'm ready to write mine. My method? Weight Watchers. I'll write more later about why I chose this plan over all the others I've tried over the years.

My stats:
Height: 5'3"
Age: 31 years old - 32 in a month.
I started Weight Watchers on 02/02/09 at 245 lbs. Today, I weigh 231 lb.s. I am down 14 lbs so far.

I will share my weekly gains and loses as well as new things I'm trying, my workout regimen and so on. I am open to comments and suggestions but request only positive and constructive energy.

Happy Shrinking!

Lara